Introducing a Vibrator into your relationship – Don’ts

If the relationship is new, you should let your partner know in the beginning that you’re the kind of person who is into sex toys. If not, you aren’t doomed to a sex life sans vibrating toys forever. Here are a couple of things that you should steer clear of doing if you want your partner to open up to the idea of vibrators.

Don’t

• Interrupt sex with your vibrator
  Don’t interrupt sex to walk over to your “secret” hiding place and say “Wanna try this?” Chances are your partner will say no and your passion-filled night will probably come to an abrupt end. If your partner does not know that you play with a vibrator, he or she may feel like you lied or tricked them into doing something. It will also bring up feelings of inadequacy, since you needed a sex toy to secretly fulfill yourself. This will lead to hurt feelings, possibly resentment and the idea that you have a sexual advantage over your partner. Moves like this can be detrimental to your relationship, so think about when you want to spring the vibrator on your partner.
• Bring up the subject at a bad time
  Piggy-backing off of the first suggestion, think about when you want to start a discussion about vibrators. You don’t want to bring up a conversation about a vibrator when you don’t have enough time or before, during or after sex. Talking about sex is difficult for some couple and if you don’t allot time to for the two of you to express yourselves, you can forget about using a vibrator in bed—it will never happen.
• Be accusatory
  Never suggest using a vibrator to make up for something that is missing sexually. Vibrators are additions to an already fulfilling relationship, not a quick fix. Stay away from phrases like “you don’t do this or that” or “you never . . . “ This will only make your partner want to do less for you.
• Get so wrapped up in your vibrator
  The sensations that your vibrator gives you are out of this world, but if your partner is open to using one, don’t make him or her feel invisible. In other words, pay attention to your partner! Show him or her how the vibrator works and what makes you feel good. Experiment together and finish off together, at least the first time. You want your partner to know you don’t need the vibrator to be satisfied.